Planning on venturing into the afterlife soon? We have you covered. Starting with the sale of Ushabtis, we have decided to expand our company to commission aquatic vessels to add to your burial checklist. After all, we all know that death is just a *temporary interruption* of life, so it is better to be safe than sorry in your preparations for your soul’s rebirth. Aquatic transportation has unfathomable importance in our era, afterlife or mortal life. I mean, without it, Narmer’s unification of Upper and Lower Egypt would have served no purpose! Depending on the bodies of water you will be facing, we have the boats to ensure safe and secure arrival. Rumor has it that the geography of the afterlife imitates that of Earth’s but with a little more spice.
However you and your ba and ka want to interpret that, transportation should be number one on your list of things to take with you to the Duat. From your last earthly journey to the cemeteries across the Nile to noble treks with the Sun God, Ra, on a solar barque in the afterlife (only if your heart is lighter than a feather, of course!), we have you covered. With so many journeys to complete, the last thing you want is to be late to the Hall of Final Judgment. I have heard some stories about those forty-two judges, and they are not the most patient individuals… Getting on their bad side is worse than a summer with no flood in the Nile, so make sure you are well equipped with everything you need. With Seas The Day you can avoid all of the stress of delayed arrivals to the Duat.
Weighing of the Heart Ceremony in the Duat. Credits to PBS.org
Manufacturing and Purchasing: Deals to Die For!
Handcrafted with great expertise, let me present to you some boats we recommend you display in your tomb. We sell funerary boats that come in all shapes and sizes. These devices will be keen for everyday navigation through the Duat. This basic form of aquatic transportation will get you through each challenge and journey with ease. With the low price of 15 to 30 units of bread (depending on your vessel customizations), this afterlife-essential bargain is to die for (literally)! Take a look at some of our best sellers below:
Model Egyptian funerary boats. Credits to The Ekphrastic Review, MFA Boston, and The British Museum.
Customization: Quite the Oar-deal!
We have a plethora of options for customizing your vessel with various colors, materials, and decorations. To begin, you have the choice of the medium in which your vessel is created. Some popular options are stone, wood planks, or whatever floats your boat! In addition, we also have a cheaper option to replace the physical model with a painted iconography version.
Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any souls cast into darkness or devoured by the crocodile jaws of Ammut. By purchasing these boats, we do not guarantee you will make it to an eternal state of peace and happiness, but your chances will be higher. Order your custom model today!
Customer review
@Tutankhamun1341: I purchased the “buy one get thirty-four free” deal of funerary boats, and they even threw in a few free magical oars! I was in denial about equipping my tomb with vessels for the afterlife but thank Ra I did. Make sure to prepare your personal Book of the Dead to not get caught empty-handed in battles and challenges throughout the twelve regions (I made sure to inscribe mine inside my mask to take with me to the afterlife, it came in handy). Having an eternal vacation right now, definitely recommend this company.
Section 151B of the Book of Dead as seen as engraved on King Tut’s mask. Credits to ResearchGate.net
Hi! My name is Kate Rubich and I am a sophomore majoring in Environmental Economics. I have never taken an art history class, but in high school I took an entrepenureship class which inspired my decision to make my project in an advertisement format. Since I have no previous knowledge of Ancient Egypt and the afterlife, I though it would be interesting to explore and research previous beliefs of life after death.
